In a city of eight million people, New Yorkers were so busy trying not to bump into each other that they often forget to say “Hi” when they did. We often didn’t even say “Hi” before we slept together. In a city that never sleeps, every New Yorker was sleeping with every other New Yorkers’ shadow!
Charlotte was dating Goerge Kershaw, an Investment Analyst with an apartment on Fifth Avenue. One evening, as they made love for the third time, George blurted out:
“I love your cunt!”
Charlotte: “Oh, my, erm…”
Charlotte didn’t know quite what to say. She had been planning to marry George within the month and found his passionate love cry a little on the dirty side.
Meanwhile, across the city on the Upper East Side, Samantha was having a little dirty fun of her own. She had been dating Alex Monroe, a Venture Capitalist who owned Bermuda, Southern Italy and France.
George: “You’re so sexy, I wanna ride you all night.”
Samantha: “How divine! Aren’t you just raring to go! Why don’t we go back to mine and you can hop on board.”
George: “That sounds great!”
Samantha: “But I’m warning you George, it’s an express train and it doesn’t stop!”
George: “Wow, you’re amazing!”
Meanwhile, on Fifth Avenue, I was handbag shopping with Miranda.
Miranda: “Look, I’m a rich, ambitious, successful lawyer and I’m not ashamed of it, so when a cute guy wants to fuck me in the back of a cab while the driver watches I’m like: whatever. I mean, what is that?”
Carrie: “I know sweetie. You deserve it.”
The next day, four thirty something girls met for brunch on the Lower East Side and Charlotte had an announcement to make.
Charlotte: “I’ve got crabs.”
Samantha: “Oh, honey, that’s so sweet. Is it you first time?”
Charlotte: “Why? Do you guys all have crabs?”
Everyone: “Sure!”
Miranda: “I’ve got the clap too.”
Samantha: “And I’ve got Clamidia.”
Carrie: “It’s just what modern women have to put up with sweetie if they want to live in a man’s world.”
Miranda: “Look, I’m a rich ambitious successful lawyer and I’m not ashamed of it. I mean if a man had crabs he’d be the toast of Manhattan. If a woman has crabs, she’s a whore. I mean: what’s that about?”
Charlotte: “But I feel so dirty!”
Later that night, I got to thinking. Maybe Miranda was right: if women were men on the outside but still women on the inside then when we made love were our souls connecting? In a city that always sleeps with its other half, did women really need a penis?
The next day..
